Conflict is an inherent part of human relationships, yet most of us have not learned how to approach these conversations with skill and intention. This three-part course is designed to help you navigate your own conflict-laden conversations with greater confidence and effectiveness. You’ll learn the essential steps to prepare for, initiate, and participate in difficult conversations that foster understanding and connection, even in challenging circumstances.

Course Structure

The course includes short lectures, guided self-reflection, group discussions, and role-play exercises. By the end, you’ll have gained both conceptual knowledge and practical tools to approach conflict with greater clarity and effectiveness. Participants will also have opportunities to reflect on their own inner experiences, work with allies, and practice looping and other core communication techniques.

The course is structured around three key areas:

1. Self-Preparation: Understand your motivations, goals, and potential barriers before entering a difficult conversation. We will explore how to assess your readiness and determine when a conversation is appropriate.
2. Issuing Invitations and Process Agreements: Learn how to thoughtfully invite others into a conversation and set agreements that create a foundation for productive dialogue.
3. The Conversation: Practice the skills needed to engage in the conversation itself, including techniques for developing mutual understanding, addressing differing perspectives, and working toward a meaningful resolution.

What You’ll Gain

By integrating lectures, practice, and reflective exercises, this course provides a comprehensive toolkit for engaging in conflict-laden conversations with greater awareness, empathy, and skill.

• Describe the steps for a meaningful conflict-focused conversation.
• Assess your motivation and goals for engaging in difficult conversations.
• Analyze contra-indications for having a difficult conversation.
• Plan an invitation and set pre-conversation agreements.
• Practice participating in a difficult conversation through role play and reflection.

Pre-Course Work: Participants are asked to think of a real-life situation involving conflict that they would be willing to explore during the course.

Who are the Trainers?*

Sethu Laxmi Nair is a mediator, facilitator, coach, and trainer in the fields of alternative dispute resolution and restorative practices. Currently, she serves as the Director of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) and Restorative Practices at the Center for Creative Conflict Resolution, an innovative public service group that offers a blend of conflict resolution, training, and systems design options within and across the New York City government. Through her private practice, Sethu consults with nonprofit organizations and businesses, offering a unique blend of leadership coaching, mediation, and group conflict management.

A member of Hidden Water, Sethu facilitates restorative circles to heal the impact of child sexual abuse in the family system. She also teaches a foundational course on Restorative Justice and Practices at the School of Social Work at Columbia University. Sethu has worked with various gender justice and human rights organizations in New York and India. She earned her bachelor’s at SUNY Purchase College and her Master’s in Economic and Political Development at the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University.

Melanie Rowen is a mediator and conflict coach who believes in the power of understanding-based conflict resolution to transform our world. She frequently trains individuals and groups on effective communication in conflict situations and on creating inclusive environments, particularly around gender, sexual orientation, and disability. Melanie previously litigated civil rights cases, including marriage equality, employment discrimination, issues involving transgender and gender non-conforming youth and their families, and issues facing LGBTQ+ elders, at the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and served on the Board of Directors of the Transgender Law Center. Earlier in her career, she worked in business litigation at Latham & Watkins LLP, and for many years, she was the Associate Director for Public Interest Programs at UC Berkeley School of Law. Melanie currently works in attorney professional development at the Bay Area offices of a large law firm, and is a member of the Board of Directors for the National Association for Law Placement.

Schedule Overview:

• February 18: Focuses on self-preparation, identifying the motivations and goals for a difficult conversation, and recognizing the importance of curiosity. Activities include guided meditation, journaling, and initial small group discussions.
• March 18: Introduces the loop of understanding and the role of an ally in preparing for difficult conversations. Participants will practice looping and work in pairs to refine their approach to conversations.
• April 16: Covers issuing invitations and setting agreements, followed by a deep dive into practicing the conversation itself through role play. Participants will apply all the skills learned and receive feedback.

Logistics

Dates: February 18, March 18, April 16, 2025

Time: 12PM – 1:30PM Pacific / 3PM – 4:30PM Eastern

Format: Online

Cost: $250 for the full series

Cancellation Policy 

Please note our cancellation policy:  If you cancel within 30 days prior to the program, your deposit will be returned minus a $250.00 administration fee. Less than 2 weeks (but more than one week) prior to the program, we will retain 50% of the total cost of the program (half of which may be applied to against a future program). Please note that refunds are not made for cancellations within the last week prior to the series start unless there is a replacement for your seat. There are no refunds after the start of the series.

*Please note that trainers are subject to availability and may change prior to program start without notice.

*Please select desired ticket and quantity using the +/- feature before clicking ‘Get Tickets.’