About our Model
In the understanding-based approach, the conflict professional seeks to work directly with the parties to support them on their path to conflict resolution. While fostering an environment of mutual respect, we strive to help both parties make informed decisions in unison. Our model is founded on the belief that the parties possess the desire and ability to work through conflict together. While this perception can often be the most significant obstacle, we are confident that with the right motivation and support, the capacity of those in conflict to collaborate can thrive. We developed the understanding-based model to support people working through their conflicts together. While developing this approach, we felt we weren’t inventing something new but uncovering what was innately there.
Who Takes Our Training Programs?
Our programs attract diverse participants united by a common interest in conflict resolution and collaborative problem-solving. Attendees typically include legal professionals like lawyers and mediators, organizational leaders, and other professionals who regularly face complex disputes. Many are drawn from business, law, education, and government; fostering understanding and reaching sustainable agreements are critical. They are motivated by a desire to improve how they manage conflict, seek creative resolutions, and deepen their skills in fostering productive dialogue and understanding. Additionally, we attract individuals looking to integrate consensual dispute resolution approaches into their professional and personal lives, valuing autonomy, cooperation, and deeper mutual understanding. Participants appreciate the emphasis on active engagement, self-awareness, and exploring identity and bias as essential elements of working with conflict.
Six Underlying Concepts
At the heart of the understanding-based approach is our commitment to the following concepts:
Develop Understanding
Traditional approaches often use coercion to force agreement, but we focus on the power of understanding. This involves understanding oneself, others, and external realities, leading to more genuine and durable resolutions.
Let the Parties Own the Conflict
We believe the parties involved are best equipped to find a resolution. Professionals support rather than direct the outcome, allowing clients to own the process and its results.
Proceed by Agreement
Parties are actively involved in designing the mediation process, ensuring it suits their needs and enhances their commitment to the outcome. We work collaboratively on both the process (“how”) and the substance (“what”) of the mediation.
Go Beneath the Problem
We delve into the underlying issues and values beneath surface conflicts, facilitating solutions that address core needs without forcing parties to compromise on what’s important to them.
Allow Tension
Rather than avoiding conflict, we embrace the inherent tensions, helping parties explore and understand them. This approach fosters deeper understanding and more meaningful resolutions.
Support Autonomy and Honor Connection
We encourage parties to assert their individual needs while recognizing their interdependence. This balance helps them reach agreements that respect both personal autonomy and their relationships.
The Loop of Understanding
Listening to understand, which we call looping, is a four-step process that mediators and parties can use to bring understanding to challenging conversations.
Looping for Understanding:
Goal: To achieve genuine understanding by actively listening and validating the other person’s message.
Steps:
Understand: Listen carefully to identify what matters most to the person speaking. Pay attention to strong or unexpected words, metaphors, superlatives, and non-verbal cues like changes in tone or body language. These elements provide insight into the person’s feelings and priorities.
Communicate: Reflect back what you think the person meant, using clear and thoughtful language. This step involves distilling the essence of their message. For example, “It sounds like you were disappointed by the Mayor’s actions because you deeply care about the students’ welfare.”
Check: Ask the person if your understanding is accurate by saying something like, “Does that sound right?” This step ensures that you’ve accurately captured their perspective.
Correct: If the person indicates that your understanding is incomplete or incorrect, invite them to clarify. You might ask, “What did I miss?” This shows a willingness to adjust your understanding and emphasizes that you’re genuinely interested in their viewpoint.
Check Again: If you receive anything less than a clear affirmation, continue to refine your understanding. You might say, “It seems like I didn’t quite get it. Can you help me understand better?” This persistence in seeking clarity demonstrates respect for the other person’s experience and perspective.
Why: Misunderstandings often arise because we unconsciously make assumptions or fail to articulate our thoughts clearly. Looping for understanding encourages authentic curiosity and continuous verification, which helps ensure accurate communication. When people feel understood, they are more open to understanding others, leading to more effective and empathetic conversations.
Further Learning: Looping is one technique among many in the broader quest for understanding. For more in-depth learning on how to facilitate understanding-based conversations, consider exploring resources like the book Challenging Conflict or participating in trainings offered by the Center for Understanding in Conflict.