About our Model
In the understanding-based approach, conflict professionals such as mediators, attorneys, and organizational leaders work directly with the people in conflict to support their efforts to reach resolution.
Rather than taking control of the problem or offering quick solutions, we create a space where the parties can engage with each other and the conflict in a constructive way. The goal is to help them make informed decisions together by building a deeper understanding of themselves, each other, and the situation they are facing.
This approach is grounded in the belief that the people closest to the conflict are in the best position to resolve it. Conflict is not simply something to avoid or eliminate. It can also be an opportunity for clarity, growth, and stronger working relationships. While it may feel unfamiliar in legal and workplace environments, we have found that when people are supported in the right way, they are often capable of more collaboration and insight than they expected.
The understanding-based model was developed to support this process. It does not rely on authority or pressure. Instead, it builds on a natural human capacity for connection and problem solving. We did not create something entirely new. We uncovered a way of working that many people already wish were possible in their most difficult professional situations.
Who Takes Our Training Programs?
Our programs bring together a diverse group of professionals who share a commitment to conflict resolution and collaborative problem-solving.
Participants often include lawyers, mediators, organizational leaders, and professionals from fields such as business, education, and government. In these roles, the ability to foster understanding and reach lasting agreements is essential.
Many are motivated to strengthen the way they approach conflict, explore creative and practical resolutions, and develop skills that support effective dialogue. Some seek to integrate consensual dispute resolution into their professional practice. Others are also interested in applying these principles in their personal lives, guided by values such as autonomy, cooperation, and mutual respect.
Across professional backgrounds, participants appreciate the program’s emphasis on active engagement, self-awareness, and attention to identity and bias. These elements are seen as central to working with conflict in a thoughtful and sustainable way.
Six Underlying Concepts
At the heart of the understanding-based approach is our commitment to the following concepts:
Develop Understanding
Traditional approaches often use coercion to force agreement, but we focus on the power of understanding. This involves understanding oneself, others, and external realities, leading to more genuine and durable resolutions.
Let the Parties Own the Conflict
We believe the parties involved are best equipped to find a resolution. Professionals support rather than direct the outcome, allowing clients to own the process and its results.
Proceed by Agreement
Parties are actively involved in designing the mediation process, ensuring it suits their needs and enhances their commitment to the outcome. We work collaboratively on both the process (“how”) and the substance (“what”) of the mediation.
Go Beneath the Problem
We delve into the underlying issues and values beneath surface conflicts, facilitating solutions that address core needs without forcing parties to compromise on what’s important to them.
Allow Tension
Rather than avoiding conflict, we embrace the inherent tensions, helping parties explore and understand them. This approach fosters deeper understanding and more meaningful resolutions.
Support Autonomy and Honor Connection
We encourage parties to assert their individual needs while recognizing their interdependence. This balance helps them reach agreements that respect both personal autonomy and their relationships.
The Loop of Understanding
Listening to understand, which we call looping, is a four-step process that mediators and parties can use to bring understanding to challenging conversations.
Looping for Understanding:
Goal: To achieve genuine understanding by actively listening and validating the other person’s message.
Steps:
Understand: Listen carefully to identify what matters most to the person speaking. Pay attention to strong or unexpected words, metaphors, superlatives, and non-verbal cues like changes in tone or body language. These elements provide insight into the person’s feelings and priorities.
Communicate: Reflect back what you think the person meant, using clear and thoughtful language. This step involves distilling the essence of their message. For example, “It sounds like you were disappointed by the Mayor’s actions because you deeply care about the students’ welfare.”
Check: Ask the person if your understanding is accurate by saying something like, “Does that sound right?” This step ensures that you’ve accurately captured their perspective.
Correct: If the person indicates that your understanding is incomplete or incorrect, invite them to clarify. You might ask, “What did I miss?” This shows a willingness to adjust your understanding and emphasizes that you’re genuinely interested in their viewpoint.
Check Again: If you receive anything less than a clear affirmation, continue to refine your understanding. You might say, “It seems like I didn’t quite get it. Can you help me understand better?” This persistence in seeking clarity demonstrates respect for the other person’s experience and perspective.
Why: Misunderstandings often arise because we unconsciously make assumptions or fail to articulate our thoughts clearly. Looping for understanding encourages authentic curiosity and continuous verification, which helps ensure accurate communication. When people feel understood, they are more open to understanding others, leading to more effective and empathetic conversations.
Further Learning: Looping is one technique among many in the broader quest for understanding. For more in-depth learning on how to facilitate understanding-based conversations, consider exploring resources like the book Challenging Conflict or participating in trainings offered by the Center for Understanding in Conflict.